Psychology tells us that our actions are product of adaptation and protection of our ego. We behave in a way based on what we experienced in the past and how the latter mold us to survive and cope up with the stressors we are living in the present.
Now based on this generalization, one could say that the way we act in terms of love could be a product of the mistakes and lessons we had in our previous relationships. That inability to apply previous learning or modify unnecessary behaviors would mean failure to thrive. And being able to identify and modify such actions could increase the chance of success in the aspect of love and relationships.
I have learned in the past that the foundation of any good relationship is not love but trust. The stronger the latter is, the more the relationship could bear any storm and the more the relationship can stand through any obstacles faced along the way. Love is good; it defies all odds, but the pain caused by mistrust can create a scar on a humans’ fragile ego resulting to inability to perform what is required to make a relationship work. Humans tend to turn their backs from honesty and truth fearing that it could hurt them but in reality, it hurts more when you realize that your version of truth is different from what really it is.
You cannot love if you cannot trust. You trust other person that he/she wouldn’t hurt you after you’ve given most of your self. You trust that at the end of the day, you still deserve the same kind of honesty that you’ve given. That you could sleep well and wake up at the feeling of being complete despite giving a part of you that you know could break. And living each day with the euphoric thoughts that there is someone you could rely and depend yourself on without prejudice and misjudgment after you’ve open yourself up with so much honesty.
You can no longer love if you can no longer trust. If you forced yourself to go on with broken trust, then you’ll find each night before going to sleep unbearable. And you’d wake up with a hollow feeling within that is bigger than the night before. You’d feel the emptiness and death of something that didn’t even lived. You’re consumed with uncertainty each day and despite being surrounded by people, you’d feel more alone than before in a sea of superficial strangers who were trying grasp something that is already broken and hollow inside you. And you’d ask yourself what haven’t you learned in the past that lead you to the same lifeless feeling you have now.
Trust me. I know that feeling.